Do cyclists lack a sense of humour?

Matthew Parris, the llama breeder and enthusiast for all things gay, has apologised for his Times column of December 27 in which he advocated “stringing piano wire across country lanes to decapitate cyclists.” The former Tory MP who was a close aide to Margaret Thatcher said: “I offended many with my Christmas attack on cyclists. It was meant humorously but so many cyclists have taken it seriously that I plainly misjudged. I am sorry.”

Parris dictating his article to the Times.

The “humorous”column has so far been the subject of 270 complaints to the UK’s Press Complaints Commission – a figure which would make it the second most complained-about article published in 2007. However, according to Stephen Abell of the PCC, the complaints are still coming in. The Commission will meet shortly to decide whether or not the column has breached its Code. If the person panel decides it has, Parris himself will receive no sanction but the Times will be forced to publish an apology.

The piece was inspired by the experience that Parris and his chums had clearing up local grass verges. He complained of energy drink tins and bottles junked by cyclists and then launched into a complaint about the wearing of lycra in public. As all “proper” cyclists know we don’t use the offending containers. We drink from a bidon that fits into our bottle cage, and only pros thow them away. We take them home and recycle them for years if not decades. It is likely that the offenders were, in the main, runners among whom Parris must be included having knocked out a 2hr 32min London marathon (well done Matthew you are faster than Lance Armstrong!)

So Parris got his knickers in a twist about the wrong target but 270 complaints? was that really justified? We all know that if somebody had suggested garrotting Gays, Civil partners, Muslims or indeed llama fanciers Parris and his ilk would be calling for draconian penalties but do cyclists have to sink to that level. If he didn’t write bollocks in the Times once a week how could he feed his llamas or maintain his home in the Peak District and small castle in Catalunya? If you weren’t amused by his light-hearted rant just ignore the hysterical old queen.



  1. m.wislon said

    When you have no discernable talent whatsover like Mr Parris then this form shabby column filling crap masquerading as journalism is what we have come to expect from such deluded commentators. Suggesting the indescriminate decapitation of cyclists would seem a strange thing to propose for someone with a degree in Law – obviously its not a degree in UK Law! What is most annoying is that he obviously get paid handsomely for his drivel. He is one of those growing band of people who are famous for being famous. I hope he enjoyed his Spanish Xmas break and suggest he extends his vacation in Catalunya forever..

  2. dnf said

    SCUM the same as Thatcher then

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